A Note On Addiction…


— and then you’re in serious trouble, very serious trouble, and you know it, finally deadly serious trouble because this [addiction] you thought was your one true friend, that you gave up all for, gladly, that so long gave you relief from the pain of the Losses your love of that relief caused,

your mother and lover and god and compadre, has finally removed its smily-face mask to reveal centerless eyes and a ravening maw, and canines down to here, it’s the Face In The Floor, the grinning root-white face of your worst nightmares, and the face is your own face in the mirror, now, it’s you, the [addiction] has devoured or replaced and become you,

… and now you’ve been had, screwed royal, stripped and tossed to the side like some stuffed toy to lie for all time in the posture you land in.

You see now that It’s your enemy and your worst personal nightmare and the trouble It’s gotten you into is undeniable and you still can’t stop.

… you are behind bars; you are in a cage and you can see only bars in every direction.  You are in the kind of a hell of a mess that either ends lives or turns them around.  You are at the fork in the road…

~ David Foster Wallace, on addiction,
page 347 of Infinite Jest


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